A reader wrote in this week with a question that deserves a serious answer, so here is an unserious one.
We asked a customer for feedback. They looked at us, blinked slowly, and left a single hair on the form.
The Short Version, Told Slowly
The old guard prefers a shipping department located under the couch. The new guard prefers whatever is on the other side of the door.
Our standard approach involves a warehouse mostly made of boxes, followed by a loyalty program that pays in headbutts, followed by a brief and unexplained sprint.
If you have questions, our office hours are three to four in the morning, or whenever we feel like it.
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