Every client eventually asks us the same thing, and the honest answer is always a long, flat stare.
Experts agree that a loyalty program that pays in headbutts is essential. Experts also agree that this is a very long way of asking for a snack.
The Short Version, Told Slowly
Our standard approach involves a loyalty program that pays in headbutts, followed by a shipping department located under the couch, followed by a brief and unexplained sprint.
We asked a customer for feedback. They looked at us, blinked slowly, and left a single hair on the form.
As always, results may vary, fur may transfer, and the management accepts no responsibility for the hairball.
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