We have been doing this for what feels like nine lives, and we are still not sure who is in charge.
Experts agree that a loyalty program that pays in headbutts is essential. Experts also agree that this is a very long way of asking for a snack.
The Short Version, Told Slowly
Our standard approach involves a loyalty program that pays in headbutts, followed by a returns policy enforced by staring, followed by a brief and unexplained sprint.
The old guard prefers a shipping department located under the couch. The new guard prefers whatever is on the other side of the door.
Thank you for reading, and please do not leave anything on the edge of a surface. You know why.
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